Getting To Know Me Better

As the front man of the legendary superstar freshed-out sacred indie music alliance Twilight Actiongirl and the sexiest product manager for international recording label giant Sony BMG Music Entertainment, I can confidently and unabashedly admit that I am the purveyor of quality tunes in the region.

In fact, just last week I received an award from Malaysian musical legend Ramli Sarip during the 'Majlis Penghargaan Untuk Insan-insan Yang Berbakat Tidak Terhingga 2006', held at Istana Budaya. It was an emotional experience for me as Mr. Sarip handed me the ‘Anugerah Lagenda Muzik’ before kneeling and kissing the jade ring on my finger.

Me on stage with my manager Mawi "Cam nie baru 'WORLD'!"

For those not in the know (I don't blame you plebeians), this award has been received by other musical greats like Awie, M. Nasir, Sharifah Aini, Sudirman, Alleycats and the Blues Gang. Being honoured in the same category as these people was so touching, that it made an amazing moment in history when I actually shed a few tears during the ceremony. Yes people, me, Lim Kok Kean the Fortress of Stone, was moved to tears! And I am man enough to admit that I cried. The rest of you beefy jock motherfuckers who are laughing at me because you think I'm a faggot for crying, we'll see who has the last laugh when you're all sitting in a guardhouse checking visitors' IDs when I'm eating gourmet Char Siew Rice whipped up by my personal chef in my penthouse suite!!!

As I have changed the face of music in this region of Asia, I have had many interview requests. It seems that people want to know more about the person behind this handsome package and stylish demeanour. So far I have turned them all down, because I haven't had the free time to squeeze into my busy schedule. This has caused media uproar and my poor publicist Ah Xu has had to fend them off for me. Now you all know why he goes around in torn jeans, ripped flannel shirts and untamed hair. And you wanna know why he's got buck teeth? That's cos a reporter kicked the back of his head so hard his teeth got knocked forward. That also explains why he styles hair for a living, still hasn't passed his SPM exams for the last 10 years and plays music that no one listens to.

But because I don't want to disappoint the hungry masses, I have asked my publicist Ah Xu to fend off the blood thirsty reporters with this:


THE LIM KOK KEAN FACT SHEET

Full Name:
Fabrizio Machinegun Lim Kok Kean (When you have FM in your name, you're born to be a DJ)

Currently works as:
Product Manager at Sony BMG / DJ at The Loft, Zouk KL / Urban Archaeologist of Juice Mag / Head of Yong Tau Foo at Taman U-Lek Lam Mee stall / Love Master in chicks' panties.

Currently digs:
1. Music Magic (For the record, *I* tell Andrew what's cool, he doesn't know jack shit)
2. Brokeback Mountain (Such an awesome movie, I cried at the end!)
3. Satisfying chicks (I just have to strike cool pose and the chicks hump my legs)
4. Haruki Murakami (To make the chicks think I'm deep and intelligent when they spot my books in the backseat of my pimped out Kenari)
5. Emo chick music i.e. Camera Obscura, Deerhoof, Rilo Kiley and Cat Power (Chicks dig my sensitive side)

Current favourite artiste:
Twilight Actiongirl, Pussycat Dolls, Black Eyed Peas, My Chemical Romance, Fallout Boy, Yellowcard, Mariah Carey (She's a diva okay? Nothing beats having Mariah croon her soothing songs when I'm soaking in a hot tub after a tiring day running away from the paparazzi) and Zainal Abidin.

Current favourite hangout:
Central market, The Loft@Zouk, the lok-lok stall outside Zouk, Sekolah Menengah Taman Connaught (for the underaged hos of course), the left corner of my bedroom where my stacks of sneakers offer me solace and ever-lasting friendship.

Current favourite fashion retail outlets:
Fourskin, Showroom, Radioactive, F.O.S., Hara-(Sungei Wang)-juku, Ma' Cherry in Low Yat, Kei Kei Fashion in Leisure Mall.

Current favourite quotes:
"L-O-L-O-L-O-L-O-V-E" and "My humps, my humps, my humps, my lovely lady lumps".


Aight, that's it people. Pretty much sums up the unique character that personifies the name DJ Bunga. When I'm not too busy changing the face of music, bestowing life-altering guidance to you cretins in the fields of fashion and entertainment, molesting under aged girls, cruising in my Kenari, submitting my profile to match making agencies, wanking to pictures of Heath Ledger or calling up the suicide help line; I MIGHT grant you salivating worshippers an interview with Galaxie magazine. Till then, take care, good bye (for now) and May I Bless You!

<3