Should I Turn Back Time?

I know a lot of my loyal supporters, followers and worshipers of the ground that I thread upon might once in a while, during a lazy Saturday afternoon, whilst listening to a special fan-only release of only the best selection of lazy weekend indie rock tunes lovingly entitled Twilight Actionlove vol.5, wonders... "Oh how, oh how did my wonderful idol Lim Kok Kean aka DJ Bunga get to where he was and how his illustrious life might have been before he got famous?"

Well today, I have decided to shed some light on one of the mysteries of modern indie era, what my life was before I was DJ Bunga, Patron Saint of all things Indie in Malaysia, Molester of Prepubescent Female Teenagers, Style Guru and Juice Magazine's Urban Archeologist...

I was your average run of the mill teenager when I was in my teens. Back then I was affectionately known as Ah-Kean. I used to do what every regular teenager used to do back then. I was an avid collector of stamps and bottle caps. I guess that was where my fetish for collecting stuff kind of manifested. I was also into gasing and kites. As you might have figured out, I was quite a loner when I was a teen which is why all my favorite activities were ones that I could very much do alone.

Ah-Kean (sans celebrity DJ status)

This is mainly because of the way I looked. I was one of those dermally challenged kids who was abit on the plump side. While all my family members and relatives loved me and called me Mini Choi Sun (Mini God of Prosperity), kids at school used to regularly give me a good ass kicking and called me names. There was this one bigger buff kid who would ALWAYS bully me, day in day out. His name was Ah-Fai. Ah-fai was the bastard son of the Pork Rice selling aunty in my taman. Everyday when he knocked me down and kicked my belly and nuts, I would secretly whisper a vow that one day I would get back at him for his wrong doings.

All the ass kicking I got and the running away from kids who wanted to beat me up made me loose a considerable amount of body weight. By the time I enrolled in college, I was pretty much looking good like how I look today, except less haggard and druggie looking. When I was in college, I used to hang with the music band kids who were shunned by all others. You might be thinking how band kids can be shunned. Well, unfortunately we were part of the 'cool' band that used to play metal and thrash. We decided to play much more melodic and peaceful tunes like folk and country. I used to play the tambourine in our group. We were called 'The Field Pixies'. All of us had cool names like Winter Fox, Eternal Sun and Little Hummingbird. Mine was Cosmic Flower. (later I decided to drop cosmic and use bunga which means flower in Malay and added DJ in front of it coz you know when I rock the decks I tear da roof off this muh-fucka!)

Well, I know I’m boring you guys with all this but fast-forward around 10 years. here I am at 32, an established and well respected label manager and indie DJ who drives a VIP-styled kenari, still stays with his parents and who's in constant cosmic sized debts.

I know some of my fans out there are wondering what happened to Ah Fai. Well, you know what, karma took place. Ah-Fai is a reknown DVD seller outside Cheras Leisure Mall, stationed outside the Maxis Centre. He had a shotgun marriage with his 23 year old Hor Fun selling wife. I drop by every now and then to buy DVDs from him. I made sure I wore my dopest gear and parked my pimped out Kenari smack dab in front of his stall when i performed said DVD purchases. He always give me the eye and charges me higher though (RM18) but I don't dare say anything still coz I know he might beat my ass into submission with me crying for my dear mommy (like that one time I returned a DVD which i was told is... DVD9 but turned out to be a lousy cinema copy).

Having my ass kicked by DVD Ah Fai

But you know what, I’ve got the last laugh coz I’m living the rock and roll lifestyle now while Ah-Fai is peddling DVDs like some punk street urchin that he is meant to be and ever will be.

p.s. if any of you guys personally know Ah-Fai, please don’t tell him about this post, coz I think there's only so much ass kicking my frail body can take now at my age. I’ll belanja you a drink on Friday and give you a copy of Twilight Actionlove vol.9, the latest compilation if you would come to the DJ console, kiss me on the hand and swear your allegiance to me. Addressing me as 'your highness'...

Provided here is an example of how i wish and hope to see The Loft every Friday...

For all you avid Bunga fans, a desktop wallpaper specially made by me, dedicated straight to you @ 1024 x 768 screen resolution. *mUaKz*

Vintage Divine

Sometimes i get damn dissapointed and depressed with my fellow band mates. They don't seem to understand the importance of projecting the rock'n'roll lifestyle when you're one of the superstar DJs that make up the almighty Twilight Actiongirl. Their attitude is all wrong for one. It's like you're part of Voltron and you're not doing a fucking good job at polishing your unit, giving it that gleam. None of them can drink excessively, do hard drugs, molest underaged girls and most important of all... drop the indiest tunes.

I've actually lectured them countless times on the importance of self projection, Especially when they're a performing part of Twilight Actiongirl, the biggest and also the indiest musical act in Malaysia right now. I mean, we're in all the top local magazines and are frequently spotted in all the hot and happening events around town. You would expect to pay a little more time, effort and attention into their clothing and self up-keep. DAMN YOU FOOLS!

Instead, we have Daryl, who dresses up like washed out singer of a Seattle grunge band from the early 80's, Kelvin who will only be spotted wearing his work clothes or one of the dozen or so jerseys that he has, and last but not least, Ah Xu, who might look like a stylish hipster from Harajuku at a glance to the street fashion elite, but you and me know that he really look like a homeless person from out from Guangdong.

Then we have the Loft crowd which is made up of Emo Kids, Punksters, Rempits, Sophisticated Ad Agency workers and the ones who tick me off the most, the Harajuku Wannabes. You can spot them from a mile away with their limited edition t-shirts, latest kicks, Bape camo jackets (it isn't freezing in here fyi) and their so called Vintage Jeans.

Well here's a word for all you street fashion elite motherfuckers. You think you're all that limited edt.? I was rocking limited edition Stussy tees while you were rocking Kiki Lala. I rocked Air Jordan 1's while you were wearing Bubblegummers... and yeah, fuck you too while i'm at that! And as for Vintage, mother fucker i'm so Vintage i make Keith Richards look like Aaron Carter. You wanna see how Vintage i can go? i'll go all Renaissance on all your fucking asses motherfuckers... come check me out...

Mona Limsa - Vintage Divine (Circa 2006)

What can i say? My Vintage dressing style is truly self explanatory... Notice how the flow of fabrics accentuates my sexuality? My chest, neck, and face glow in the same light that softly models my hands after i don this outfit. There you have it, can't anyone understand how easy it is? This VINTAGE outfit can make me look both serene and tranquil while i'm dropping dope tunes but yet shows that i'm REALLY out here to partay (Please take note that i'm not cross-dressing).

My bro Sigmund Freud has interpreted my 'smile' as signifying the erotic attraction i have towards pre-school girls; others have described it as both innocent and inviting (Yeah right!).

Celebrity Anxiety

Arrival @ The Loft #01 CD Launch, Press Conference

Every once in a while, I feel the strain of being a celebrity. A lot of people may think it’s all fun and games, but I’d see like to see YOU handle deranged (but hot nonetheless, because I always get the choice picks) chicks fighting to grab your ass when you’re out on the streets. It’s not easy man.

Sure, I get invited to all the hip parties organized by JUICE and KLUe and I’m on the guest list for top notch indie gigs in the country*, but sometimes the fame gets to me. Now I truly understand the pain Kurt Cobain went through during his last days.

Note: All the selected cool people who got into Architecture In Helsinki and Chicks On Speed by merely associating themselves with me, you can lick warm chocolate sauce off my sensuous body later.

Everywhere I go, people look at me and want to talk to me. It’s tough having to put on a façade everytime, because sometimes I just want to go out like a normal person without having to live up to my reputation: Elite Indie Music God / Style Guru Juice Contributor / Sneaker Pimp Master / Hot Hot Hunk (aka Triple H) / The Malaysian Sensation. Sometimes, I just want to be known as Ah Kean from Leisure Mall Cheras, y’know?

Chicks eye me from the corner and whisper amongst themselves: “Look! It’s DJ Bunga! I want to have his babies” or “Oh, I wanna lick those cute ears of his!” I would appreciate it if you women didn’t speak so loudly, we don’t want the other guys in the room to feel inadequate about themselves now, do we? Y’all know I’m a caring, generous person. The other guys are okay too, they need female lovin’ too. Don’t toss them aside when you see me. I know some of you put on a look of ignorance when you spot me, and I know you do it to make me feel less conscious about myself. Thanks so much, at least I can relax a little when I’m out in public. But if you really cannot restrain yourselves from ignoring me (I understand how hard it is, I’m a wreck whenever Iszie the babe comes to Loft with her boyfriend), a little wink or a simple ‘hello’ will suffice. But please, no autographs. Lord only knows how tired my hands are.

You think it’s a fucking breeze slapping CDs on the decks every Friday? I have to go down to Central Market once a fortnight to ask Andrew at Music Magic what indie tunes are out AND THEN write them down AND THEN run Limewire AND THEN download them dope tunes AND THEN burn them into a CD AND THEN play them for you people!

You think it’s fucking child’s play recommending the best reads on Juice every month? I have to fucking go down to Kinokuniya every month to sift through the shelves AND THEN pick up a random book with crazy kick ass illustrations on its cover AND THEN flip it over to the back for a quick read-up on its summary AND THEN run Microsoft Word AND THEN spew out an article to educate you people on what to read.

And here’s the kicker: You all don’t know how fucking tiring it is to wank furiously every night. Sure, I get all the hot hos coming to me, begging to suck my dick, but I’m a gentleman and I don’t play with their fragile little hearts. With my hectic schedule and the numerous marriage proposals I receive on a daily basis, I’m afraid I cannot commit to a woman 100%. So instead of leading them into believing I’m seeking a relationship after allowing them to suck me off, I save them from the heartache by telling them I’m saving my virginity for marriage. And then I go home to wank. But since I still live with my parents, I have to wait for momma to go out for mahjong and pops to go for his taichi sessions, then I run to the toilet for a quick, hard wank. By the way, if any of you want a portion of my semen to breeding an army of indie demigods, please email me.

So the next time you swarm me for autographs or tear my clothes for keepsakes, think of my pain. That’s all I ask for. Thank you. I love you all.

Cover Charge @ The Loft.

THE CREATION OF LIM

(God giving the sign of approval towards Lim)

Ok, I’m getting a lot of flak lately for the RM20 first drink cover that zouk's management is imposing for entry into loft for twilight actiongirl. the general loft clientele would assume that the all evil female /ang-moh bashing, obscene bottle price imposing committee of zouk decided to impose the RM20 cover in order to make a quick buck from the innocent and most of the time broke / freeloading loft crowd whilst simultaneously tightening it's grip on 'best club in KL' title. well, I have decided that I, lim kok kean, style guru of KL, patron saint of all things indie, sneaker god and general sexual predator, owe all my loyal followers an explanation on why this is happening.

As most of you would know, I’m the no.2 top sneaker collector in Malaysia, only overshadowed by the elusive B53 of streething. As most sneakerheads will tell you, collecting sneakers isn’t cheap, especially if you're at the level that I’m at in the sneaker game. whilst most collectors control the box-fresh kicks market, I monopolize the brand spanking new AND bundle kicks market in Malaysia, therefore if you're an up and coming player in the local sneaker game, one word of advice, back the fuck up coz you don't want none of dis. anyways, since my job as label manager at Sony pays me peanuts, I had to result to the almighty power of plastic to fuel my fiendish passion for kicks. And as most of you all might not know, I have been in debt to my credit company (or should I say multiple credit company) since I was 23, and since you all know how old I am now, it’s been a rough 12 years since then. This might solve the mystery of why I rock the freshest gear in KL and drop the indie-est tunes in loft but still only drive a measly perodua kenari and still stay with my family in cheras. Anyways, I took it upon myself to cut a deal with zouk management to impose the abovementioned RM20 cover charge where RM5 goes to zouk management whilst RM15 goes into the HDJBSHDASFFTFF, otherwise known as 'Help DJ Bunga Settle His Debts and Stay Fresh For The Fans Fund'. I know some of my fans might get all fumed up over this daylight robbery, but think who'll rep KL in the international fresh game and who'll drop the dopest indie tunes in Loft if I go broke and possibly face several act of dismemberment as a result of failing to make payment to certain 'credit companies'. Who will act drunk and take advantage of innocent young girls in loft?

I hope the explanation I provided above will resolve all the questions and misunderstanding. And I also hope that y'all understand how important I am as an acting instrument appointed by the almighty God to spread the gospel of Indie music and to preach the word of freshness to my loyal followers and the unsuspecting soon-to-be believers...

project indie .

stay tuned.

In da club.

Me, Crazy B, Cracker James & Pork Ribs decided to drop on by Zouk for Ghetto Heaven and get our freak on. Well, initially Cracker James wasn't in the line-up, but hey, we all know you need a white boy in tow for street cred. Plus dem slutty local bitches can't get enough of that white dick.

Now, I know all my fans out there gonna go into playa hater mode going all "hey Bunga, I thought you were all-out indie, what’s with going to Ghetto Heaven man?"... well i can say is, quit hatin' bitches. Y'all act like y'all danced to Public Enemy and NWA when I dropped that shit in the loft. Plus, I got to let out the black bruvva in me every now and then son! Gotta get all freaky once in a while.

Anyways it was just fucking thumping tonight. Goldfish and T-bone were dropping mad tracks back to back like it was hawt. So we were doing our thang you know, sipping on some 40s and checkin' out dem fly bitches. Damn son, there were more fly ass under aged bitches there than in a Monday morning assembly in an all girls school. And we all know how I especially love them under aged hoes. Never too young to get that phat ass tapped is what I say.

me (wu tang!), my homeboy crazy b, cracker james & pork ribs

Anyways, I was about to get my mack on when T-Bone dropped 'The Triumph' from none other than dem 9 ma fuckers for shaolin. Wu Tang son! I just flipped. I had to throw the wu sign up. Reprezent ma niggaz. Club was definately thumping tonight, fo sheezy.

Anyways I ended up drunk as a motherfucker on a jug of 'badly mixed gin & juice'. I ended up waking up at Cracker James’s pad on his bed with him spoonin my ass. Well, we'll save that story for another time. We'll be tearing it up a GH again one of these days, fo shizzle ma nizzle. aight, till then ma niggaz, peace out. TAG fo eva son!

CD Drop!

LIM KOK KEAN - THE LOFT #01

GLOBALUNDERGROUND

My hot new mix CD is gonna be dropping soon through global underground. Only 50 will be released. 10 will come in a limited edition flower camo print sleeve with my autograph which will be passed to scalpers to be sold at obscene prices locally and overseas via e-bay. The other 39 will be for friends and family, namely hot indie bitches who wear glasses and are usually drunk in loft on Friday who let me feel them up. And I usually get away with it even though they're sober coz I always claim I’m drunk whilst holding a jug of coke with 10 straws which I go around claiming is a heavy mix of whisky and coke. The other one more copy will be up for auction in Streething because I’m too cheap to give away any of my shoes away for auction, be it my box fresh or bundle kicks. That way I get to be a kiam siap ma fucker whilst still retaining my street cred by contributing to the scene. Plus it’s always nice to see newbie motherfuckers licking my nuts online.

The album will be electronic mix of all my hit tracks from 'twilight actiongirl nights' @ the loft. Hardcore fans will notice that the mixing in the CD is slightly slicker and smoother compared to my trademark mixing style on live sets. This is because I used winamp and its latest fade-in fade-out plug-in. So brace yourself from some crazy ass tunes and (relatively) seamless mixes. This is what will be in my super limited edition mix CD.

Track list
01 kaiser chiefs - everyday I love you less & less (bunga reconstruction mix)
02 the clash - london calling (london bombing mix)
03 yeah yeah yeah's - date with the night (rhyphnol mix)
04 the killers - mr. brightside (loft overkill mix)
05 bloc party – helicopter (vicious blades mix)
06 mylo - drop the pressure (cooker mix)
07 at the drive in - one arm scissor (silk cut mix)
08 the bravery - unconditional (forever remix)
09 franz ferdinand – take me out (italian restaurant remix)
10 kings of convenience – I’d rather dance with you (CM mix)
11 smashing pumpkins – today (in denial mix)
12 unkle - in a state (edit music for a film mix)

i have arrived!

i'm lim kok kean bitch!